This might just be me ranting once again about my crazy aspirations, but, if you're in this ''Sharing Time'' section, dear reader, you are probably trying to learn more about this blog's quirky author anyway -or maybe you just got lost among the posts.
If you DO want to read this rant, however, hang on.
You might have felt it too. Going about daily life, doing your regular chores, managing your home, holding on to duty, or simply to expectations. Work, school, family, ministry maybe; you've heard them all many times before. So have I. And, don't get me wrong, they are wonderful things.
But there are days when I wonder if there's anything beyond. Just by walking through town, I see so many persons, whose lives I will never hear about. And by simply listening to people, even strangers, sometimes opening up, I hear so much brokenness.
I can't help but think that our focus, oh so often! is in the wrong place. We work hard to secure a future; and once we've reached that future, we try so hard to not lose what we've earned, and increase it, in such a way that this very future ends without any trace of its passing. Our society is brainwashed by consumerism; broken things are thrown away, new ones bought. Broken relationships are thrown away, new ones started.
And people hurt inside. It's very hard to think of anyone with whom I've had an honest conversation that hasn't shared very hard times they've gone through, or, most often, are currently going through. Mental illness has been part of most people's lives, through their own mind or that of someone they are very close to. Poverty, divorces, health issues, the death of a loved one, addiction; I could go on, but you know them. I'm sure you've heard them listed off way too often as well.
There are days -such as today- when all I want to do is leave behind all of my heavy earthly possessions, grab a backpack and get a car, and go travel the world, free from the expectations that are like blinders to people. There are days when I think I'm not designed, even though I really wish I was, for this typical little calm life everyone is encouraged to lead. This life, let me add, that most people do lead, and seem satisfied with. Sometimes they are. And it's actually admirable. Sometimes they're not, because we live in a broken world, where blessings are overlooked and problems underlooked.
Sometimes I just feel like driving that nonexistent car I'd have to absolutely wherever, and discover what lays beyond my sight, and see landscapes I never have before, and hear stories I never thought about. To live the life of a nomadic, and write those stories I hear, to share them with the rest of the world, so they can, perhaps, see other realities and points of view; so they can understand better what their neighbor is going through.
Some days, I would want to leave all my unworthy burdens behind and tell the stories of those who don't have a voice.
Yet here I am. Former Psychology student, now learning about Special Care Counselling, with no clue as if to whether I plan to finish this program or not. Claiming to be a traveler and wanderer, but never even having gone out of our continent myself, because travelling is expensive. Declaring that there is a Purpose and that He came down to Earth to show us the way, but so confused, weak and clueless myself.
So, if ever you want your narrative to be heard; if ever you want to share how you conquered your darkness by light, or how you still are trying to find that light: I would love to hear your story, share parts of mine if you'd like and, once we've said everything there is to say, take time to listen to silence together.
Until next time,
Vannah
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Here are a few songs matching my weird mood right now if you want to feel the vibe:
-Beauty and the Beast "Belle" (yes, this totally is a Disney song)
-Lindsey Stirling - Something Wild ft. Andrew McMahon (thank you Nab!)
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